Journal
Sunday, July 3, 2005
Baby's due officially in a week. I haven't done any updates here, as you can obviously tell. I don't think anyone's actively reading here anyway.
Meanwhile, I've been getting lots of comment spam to this blog, in no small part I'm guessing because the software is a couple of years old. I will be using something else in the next incarnation of this blog, which I already use for the blog on my Gothling site.
As a result of the comment spam, I'm closing comments on all entries here. If you need to reach me, there are plenty of places listed where you can do such.
The Gothling site is updated regularly, but contains mostly stuff about my pregnancy and the impending kidlet (due in a week or so, officially). This blog, in its formerly more active state, should return, sooner rather than later, hopefully.
@ 06:25 PM EST
Thursday, March 3, 2005
I'm not dead. But I've been busy working on the site for our baby, which is finally done.
Pregnancy related posts can be found there, as well as our baby gift registry, a gallery and other bits and bobs.
http://www.gothling.silentgarden.net/
The blog there is also powered by Movable Type, so now I can get underway with a redesign of my personal site on the subdomain I intend to move it to, and transfer all the posts from this Greymatter powered blog to there. Oh happy day.
Meanwhile, making a site for the GothNet meet-up in Vegas is first, as well as organising our apartment, and various financial stuff for our taxes.
@ 06:28 PM EST
Tuesday, February 8, 2005
So at 18 weeks I'd be about 4.5 months, 2 more weeks and I hit the half way mark which would kind of be 4.5 months if you take 9 months as the exact amount of pregnancy time, and 4 more days until I have 5 months left til my due date. The differing ways in which you can count pregnancy length amuse me a lot, because they end up just being confusing. As such, I'll just stick to weeks out of 40.
Most importantly, all the insurance crap has been sorted, and I can give birth how I like, which is a huge relief. Never underestimate the importance that being able to choose your own way and place of birth can make.
Changes since the last pregnancy entry:
As of a week, I lactate. This was definitely an interesting surprise. The first occurance was last monday during karate class when the right nipple expelled a drop of fluid. It just made for a really odd feeling in the sports bra, rather than anything visible. Mostly after class it was gone, I could squeeze and see a minute droplet or two form, but that was it. Yesterday the right nipple had a go, and prezPreZ noticed a wet spot on my sleep t-shirt after we woke up and had been talking etc. for a while. I wouldn't say it was milk as such, more just a clear kind of fluid.
Not something I'd expected to deal with at this stage really, but as long as this is the extent of it for quite a while, I can manage. However, I'm starting to seriously consider washable nipple pads to use as stuffer in non-padded sports bras. My regular ones are padded, which will contain any fluid, or stop it leaking through at any rate.
At some point I now also get to look forward to cervical leakage, which supposedly starts happening around now until the end or so. Fun guys, how about more warning on this front too? :P
Also as of a week or so I can feel the baby move. Or at least I'm assuming that's the baby, because gas sure as hell doesn't move like that (and you get lots of comparison material during pregnancy, also not something they warn you about). This also is very interesting, and right now and for the next bunch of weeks this is going to have great entertainment value I'm sure. Until such time as the kicks etc. start getting aimed at the bladder region, and I start wishing that I really couldn't feel stuff move ;) Some sites say it feels a bit like bubbles popping, which can be a fairly accurate description, only bigger bubbles, not light small ones. I guess saying it feels a bit like having part of an internal organ twitch repeatedly in the same place every so often is also a way of describing it. Several days ago it concentrated mostly on the lower right side of my body (for me), Sunday it seemed more in the middle, so I guess it moved or something.
Heartburn has also added to the list of inflictions, though it's very mild, and has only happened about 3 times over the last couple weeks. An antacid or two clears this up in no time. This is only the beginning I'm sure, I just hope the severity doesn't get worse, because right now it's a very minor inconvenience, and certainly not painful, but I'd like to avoid worse.
Permahunger has returned, in a fashion. I used to think I thought about food a lot before I was pregnant, but this is way worse. It's pretty much a constant thing. I'm always thinking about where the next meal is coming from, and I have a nose for food when we're out, because I guess pregnancy comes with extra smelling powers. If there's something yummy in the air, I can smell it, and it will often trigger munchies. PreZ finds this endlessly amusing.
Karate has gone well the 3 classes I've attended so far, though I do skip and sit out parts. I attribute a lot just to a lack of fitness as well as lower ability levels, though so far I'm not sure there's that much that I can't do that I could before, thanks to pregnancy. I do get cottonmouth sometimes during class which is a bit annoying. You walk a fine line between trying to hydrate adequately, yet not too close to the class that you need to pee several times in that hour. Once the weather starts heating up, I'm going to need to rethink and rediscuss things, because I definitely might need to skip out for a water break or something (water bottles etc. aren't allowed in the dojo and there are usually no water breaks during the class).
I received info about where I can go to get blood taken for the triple screen test. This is mainly a test to detect genetic defects (down's syndrome, spina bifida). Intellectually I know that I am low risk due to age, genetics etc., but I believe PreZ would like the reassurance. My major worry really is the supposed high false positive rate this test has (which is 3-5% according to one site, which isn't too bad I guess), mostly as that would mean further testing, and some of the tests can be really invasive, like amniocentesis, which involves a needle through the tummy, and carries an increased miscarriage risk. You can see why this thought is not appealing. That said, usually a high detail ultrasound can come before that, so if a false positive gets flagged, here's hoping that that'd be the first step, and that that would be conclusive enough.
I'll probably be scheduling that for sometime this week or so.
This week I should also be getting information about where to go for our ultrasound. This will definitely be cool, as it'll be the first time we see something, because it's only been heartbeat via stethoscope so far. PreZ will be going along for that, of course. And any pictures that we get out of that will also make their way onto here shortly after as well. Here's hoping we don't get any gender spoilers, because I/we really don't want to know, which I think almost makes us the rarity, as most people I see on various pregnancy communities know or want to find out.
Next Tuesday is my third midwife's visit, the day after V-day. So I guess that'll be the usual of bloodpressure measuring, charting weight changes, and listening to the heartbeat and some other chit-chat. And lunch possibly at the Irish pub after :D
The week 18 belly picture is here: http://www.silentgarden.net/images/personal/wk18.jpg
That glint in the navel area is the top bead in the curved barbell that occupies my navel piercing. A piercing which I'm endeavouring to keep the entire way through. This also will be interesting.
@ 02:26 AM EST
Monday, February 7, 2005
The homebirth was approved on Friday, as well as the exception for this particular midwife.
So finally we know for sure that they will cover everything. Finally, after months of being dicked around. This is a big relief what with a bloodtest and ultrasound and another apointment coming up soon. I tried not to let all of this crap stress me out too much, but various scenarios do play through your head when you're faced with the fact that you might not get the birth option you want, or that you might have to cough up several grand to pay or co-pay for it.
Thankfully this is all in the past now.
@ 09:25 PM EST
Saturday, January 29, 2005
So I got a call from the midwife's billing agent wednesday. She said the insurance company told her that homebirth is covered.
You didn't really think it would end there, did you? Oh no...
Our insurance company covers homebirth and would grant the midwife exception (full network coverage due to a lack of any similar in-network provider closer by), but apparantly homebirth is not included in our plan. We have a PPO plan, Preferred Provider Organisation, which I was led to believe actually gave you some good coverage etc. Apparantly not.
The billing agent said to fight it. She said it was illegal for them to deny you a legitimate medical choice and limit my birth choices to only hospital or birthing center, she added to mention contacting local congress persons as well. She also stated that people who fight often win too, I guess this is because insurance companies generally deny initially anyway, and expect little resistance from the vast majority of people.
So PreZ called them up to get some answers out of them. Their first excuse was to say that it wasn't covered because PreZ's employer didn't list it as coverable. Which really takes the cake (and I know "regular" birth stuff is covered, so this just sounds a bit like a cop out). Then when PreZ mentioned he'd be contacting his Human Resources person and local congress woman the woman at the insurance company then tried to claim that the insurance is provided under Washington state law (where they are based), to which PreZ countered that no, the service is being performed in NY state, where we are, thus NY state law applies, not WA state law. He never mentioned whether or not that got much of a response back, my guess is not.
He then phoned his HR person, whom I don't think has gotten back to him yet. Then he googled some stuff, and found a piece of NY state legislation that mandates that insurance companies have to cover midwife services if the midwife is licensed (and in NY that's mandatory for a midwife to practise as far as I know, and our midwife is certainly licensed/certified/registered). It doesn't specifically state what these services are or can be, but homebirth is definitely not an exceptional kind of service for a midwife. Furthermore, they have to cover "at minimum" parent education, assistance and training in breast or bottle feeding. We just signed up for a comprehensive birth class, which includes a breastfeeding class and newborn care class... so here's hoping that waving this piece of legislation under their noses means they'll cough up (some) money for that too.
Right now I'll just settle for them covering my labour and birth choices.
@ 12:57 AM EST
Friday, January 28, 2005
So I finally managed to contact my dad on Wednesday. We've been playing phone tag since just before Christmas. Calling a cell phone in South Africa is not an easy task, I'll tell you. Half the time the call just wouldn't go through at all, and I'd have to try several times to even get some kind of dial tone, or it would get his voice mail.
Eventually I just gave up trying to randomly call, and emailed him to find out what would be the best day and time to call him, which was Wednesday afternoon (my time). As it happened he was at a restaurant with some sales rep, but he went outside and we spoke for a while.
I finally got to tell him that I'm pregnant. I've been wanting to do that since before Christmas. I knew he'd be gone during that weekend, and I wanted him to know before my mother, though it never worked out that way. He mentioned he'd actually spoken to my mother on the phone last week, but that she hadn't mentioned anything about me being pregnant. He was a bit pissed that she hadn't said anything, though I pointed out that I was actually really glad she hadn't, because it was something I wanted to tell him myself. It's the kind of news that should come straight from the source really, and I would have felt really deflated if someone else had beaten me to the punch in that particular case.
He's happy :) though I think it was still a bit of a bombshell for him. Or a surprise at least. It's nice to be able to make him happy, seeing as so many nasty things have been going on over the last few years with all that crap with my mother (for the unaware, I'm more than happy to explain further, just ask). The whole granddad thing will take some getting used to ;) Nothing like being made to feel old when your kids start having kids.
He said that he was definitely planning on a trip to the US this year, and then he mentioned that he would be in Vegas in May for some conference or convention or something. And of course PreZ and I will be in Vegas for a week in May too. My dad didn't know any dates yet, but he asked me to send info on when we'll be there. It would be so much fun to meet up with him there, though even if that doesn't happen he'd either schedule a stay in NY at the beginning or end of his trip, depending on when he's there and we are.
Hopefully he'll make it out here sometime after July as well, it'd be nice for him to see more than just a pregnant belly too.
@ 01:22 AM EST
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Okay, so 16 weeks might be a bit early to start looking into pediatricians, seeing as I'm not yet half way through this whole pregnancy thing, let alone sporting a baby. But someone's recommendation on a breastfeeding community of a doctor not too far from us (11 miles) prompted me to check with our insurance whether or not that person is on our provider list, which, thankfully, he is. Why this specific doctor? he's pro-breastfeeding and pro-extended breastfeeding. Definitely a bonus.
Where does the intimadation part come in? Well, with the Westchester Medical Center down the road, as well as the Blythedale (I think) children's hospital a little bit further down the road from that, and a bunch of other consolidated practises/clinics in the larger towns nearby, there's 200 pediatricians in a 6 mile radius (!), and it was only 200 because that was the max amount of listings the insurance site would give to my query. Do I check with each of these first to see if they're co-operative in the things I find important because they're closer by? or do I ask this one person in the community for more information about her pediatrician and follow that recommendation first?
And yes, there are plenty of pediatricians who push formula or early weaning or solids and are no proponents for (extended) breastfeeding or child-led weaning and delaying solids and such, so this makes a difference. I'd rather not end up with a pediatrician where every choice PreZ and I have made ends up being an uphill battle, for very obvious reasons. I need and want a healthcare provider who is supportive of my choices, not derisive or counter-productive.
Argh. I haven't even run this by PreZ yet though, and it's also not a pressing matter, but still. The onslaught of choices is intimidating at least, obviously I won't be spoiled for choice if one person doesn't work out, but it's that whole "forest for the trees" thing too.
@ 01:40 PM EST
So Wednesday was our second midwife's visit, at 15w2d.
I got the results back from the bloodtests that were done at the first visit. All clear on everything. My immunity to childhood illnesses is fine (and it should be, I had boosters for INS last May), no anemia, no HIV (I had told her that one wasn't necessary, having had 2 for INS in the last 3 years), and PreZ and I have the same bloodtype, so no Rhesus issues to worry about.
I had expected a gynocological exam that morning, as that's what she'd mentioned to me at the first visit. She then told me that often ob/gyn's do 2 papsmears during pregnancy, once at the start of the care, and once towards the end of the pregnancy (around 32 weeks). Mostly this is to test for cervical cancer and stuff like syphillis. She told us she found this overkill, especially for couples with a monogamous relationship, so I got to choose if I wanted 1 or 2 papsmears, and whether I'd like it sooner rather than later. As I had one a year ago, and before that I had one every 6 months (thanks to my ob/gyn writing only 6 month pill scripts and me needing to be looked at before getting a new one, no money extortion there at all...). Plus there's no history of cervical cancer in my family, so I figured the one was enough. I'll be having that one done around 32 weeks.
My bloodpressure was fine at 110 over 60 or so. I'd gained pretty much no weight in the last 4 weeks, which I personally find odd. I eat, really I do... big meals, snacks, pizza, kfc, but no change in weight. Though I do think I've traded some muscle in for some fat tissue instead, mostly in the absence of karate training over the last 8 or so weeks).
Then we got to listen to the baby's heartbeat again, which was really cool. At this point you can't really feel anything, so listening to the doppler stethoscope is the only real confirmation you get, or so it feels to me. The heartbeat was 158, which is normal, so all good there too, which makes me happy.
Other than that she wrote me out a prescription for an ultrasound, which I'll get somewhere between 16 and 18 weeks, she'll be organising the appointment with the diagnostic center, one nearby where we live, and I'll have to go there.
She also wrote me a volountary prescription for a triple screen test. Now the triple screen test is a blood test where they test your hormone levels, and test for genetic abnormalities like down's syndrome. She did tell us that this test is fairly controversial, as it has a reputation for having a lot of false positives. These positives, false or not, would mean more invasive testing, like amniocentesis, cordocentesis or chorionic villus sampling. Both of those procedures involve sticking a needle through the abdominal wall to take samples of either fluid, umbilical blood or the placenta. Needless to say, not fun. Add to that the fact that the amniocentesis carries a 1 in 200 risk of miscarriage, and the CVS a 1 in 100 risk (according to info I found online).
I'm still tossing up whether or not I want to take the Triple Screen and run the risk of having a false positive, as I am not in a risk category (no family history, under 30/35). She's leaving it up to us to decide whether or not we do this test, she just pointed out the pros and cons. It would be nice to know, if the test turns out negative, but the idea of all the hassle and worry in case of a false positive is not pleasant. Though neither is the forecast if it's a positive result. We'll see.
She asked if we'd discussed prenatal/parenting classes yet, and she recommended a place that I'd already found a site for online (http://www.realbirth.com/). So this afternoon PreZ signed us up for their class package. It combines their (5 week) birthing class, with a breastfeeding class and a newborn class. You can get them all seperately, or together at a discount. So come March 1st we'll start on their Comprehensive Childbirth Prep class, once a week on Tuesday's, for the entire month. Then sometime in April the Breastfeeding class, and sometime after that the Newborn Care class. Both of the latter are just single classes. Arming oneself with book and internet knowledge is fine, but I'm sure hands-on will be a valuable help. Later down the line I also want to see if there are La Leche League (a breastfeeding organisation) meetings nearby to go to, also good for support, information and other breastfeeding moms.
@ 03:13 AM EST
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
So last week was pretty social, which doesn't happen that often.
Friday a week ago I went into NYC to meet up with PreZ and his co-workers to go to karaoke. I didn't sing, but PreZ and several others did. Lots of fun, and yummy Japanese food to boot, though unfortunately most of what I ate was off the appetiser menu because the rest of the menu was predominantly sushi, and I wasn't in the mood for tempura or teriyaki.
One of PreZ's co-workers suggested that for another outing type thing we should go to Russian place/restaurant, as she and her partner are Russian. This definitely sounds interesting, so hopefully that will actually happen some time.
Then that Saturday there was Julian's housewarming, even though the weather outside was far from accommodating the 'warming' part. Kreestof arrived at our place late that afternoon and we had pizza and stuff, before he headed off home to get ready and to meet us there. We brought Vampire wine as a gift which was a success :) It was lots of fun, and we met a bunch of new people. Had an interesting conversation about all kinds of cameras with a friend of Julian's, Theo I believe. A major camera geek to the point it was like talking to a camera salesman :) but it was nice to get info on various digital camera types and such.
We had some amusement about the fact that in Julian's neighbourhood EVERYONE double parks. Like, 2-3 cars on either side of the road on every single block, it was quite ridiculous.
Last Monday we headed up to PreZ's aunt, as we hadn't seen her at Christmas. We combined it with a trip to their mall because they have a maternity Gap up there that I wanted to check out. The shopping was a wash, but it was nice to catch up with his aunt.
Last Wednesday was lunch with Kit, and a karate class, so some chatter with various people there I hadn't seen in 2 months. They were having a black and brown belt class after our regular class, so I got to talk to our sensei Liz for a bit which was nice. I really like our dojo, people are so nice, helpful and supportive there.
And Friday we went out to have dinner with a bunch of PreZ's ex-colleagues from Micromuse. It was a bit of an impromptu dinner to get together and celebrate various things, including my pregnancy, someone else's new baby and some other stuff. We had yummy Chinese food, and good conversation, and decided that we should all gettogether again at some point, at the very least sometime after our baby is born.
This past weekend was pretty quiet on the social scale, with a blizzard coming in. Kit braved the storm on Saturday to stay here, as his pipes had frozen or something and his Jewish landlord was unavailible on the sabbath for assistance. No running water and sub-optimal heating isn't a pleasant forecast for a winter storm, so he crashed here for 2 nights. Thankfully Metro North trains were running on schedule, even though there was heavy snowfall and there had been 18-24 inches forecast, of which I'm sure most actually fell too.
@ 05:17 PM EST
So PreZ called the insurance company. That's the upside of a west-coast based provider, you can still call them in the east-coast evening.
I wish these people would get their damn story straight. We were told over a month ago that it was approved and to go ahead and book an appointment, hence we finally booked a midwife's appointment (my first appointment was at 11 weeks and I'd been trying to sort that crap out since like 6-7 weeks/before Thanksgiving). They told the midwife's billing agent that it had been denied. They told PreZ just now that it was currently still under investigation.
So that's a Yes, a No, and a Maybe.
They also told the billing agent that homebirths aren't covered, but they told PreZ they are. The billing agent had also been trying to get a hold of them since December, and yesterday was the first time she'd managed to get a hold of them since like Dec 27th.
Oh, and apparantly I need to have a reason to have a homebirth. And saving them money isn't a good enough one (I figured that might be a good one seeing as it's a capitalist concept which would appeal to money grubbing insurance providers). I find it patently ridiculous to need to give a reason for wanting a homebirth, surely people don't have to give reasons to volountarily give birth in hospitals?
If they really need a reason, then they can have these ones:
Studies have shown that:
- It is safer to have a homebirth (of course granted you're not a high risk pregnancy).
- There are generally less complications at a homebirth.
- There is less chance of unnecessary medical intervention and c-sections with a homebirth (the homebirth/midwife c-section rate is half that of the national average, and the c-section rates of countries where hospital births are not the norm/as popular as here are *much* lower than in the US, which leads the way with the highest c-section rate).
- The rates of infection, morbidity and mortality are lower with homebirth.
- The incidents of episiotomy ("the snip") are lower, and you're likely to tear less.
- it's less stressful to be in a comfortable environment surrounded by people you know/love and only those you want there, not an endless barrage of strangers.
And as a final one, it's what I WANT, and they can choke on that one.
Now our midwife has to call the insurance company on a speshul phone number to discuss something with, I believe, the caseworker. Gah.
@ 10:47 AM EST
Friday, January 21, 2005
Just when I thought all this crap was over and done with, I just got a call from our midwife's billing person. Apparantly the insurance company told her the request for full coverage was denied. This is completely contrary to what we were told.
For those who missed the earlier post about our quest for a midwife, a recap... I scoured the internet for a homebirth midwife in our area, finding only a handful. None but two were covered under our insurance plan. Then I realised one of those two was listed under an old address and she lived 55 miles away instead of 32, which wasn't a great option. Then I found out the second one on our provider list was listed under the address/facility she used to work at, but no longer did. Her private practise wasn't covered.
Then this second midwife's billing agent contacted us, telling us that our insurance had an exception which would allow out of network providers to be reimbursed as though they were on our network (100%) as opposed to the out of network coverage of only 70%, our situation, i.e. no provider within a reasonable distance, was within those exception parameters. So we tried to get that sorted. PreZ hassled them on the phone a few times to get them to hurry up and give us an answer. They told him it had been approved and they just needed to contact the billing agent for information/paperwork and that was it. At that point I called the midwife and booked our first appointment, which was last month (Dec 21). We had our second appointment yesterday, and our midwife mentioned that her billing person still hadn't heard back from our insurance company.
Now I get a call from the billing agent saying that the insurance company has declined to put in the exception, with various excuses like that they don't cover homebirth. This is a load of crap! A homebirth is much cheaper than a hospital stay for me and a baby, and all the associated crapola. And nowhere in our insurance paperwork does it say that homebirth is not a birthing option.
Mostly I feel really jipped because they told us it was approved, and that's why we made the appointment last month in the first fucking place.
Now we need to go talk to them again. The billing agent told me that we needed to find out what their coverage amount is for pre-natal, labour & delivery and post-partum services (because they'll pay 70% out of their "allowed" amount).
I am so pissed off right now, as well as just tired of all this crap, supremely disappointed, and now worried that we might end up with a medical bill as well. Yes, we can "afford" it, but we have insurance, and a PPO plan at that, we shouldn't need to pay through the nose outside of that as well, especially not for a service that's so much cheaper than the damn hospital alternative.
Fucking insurance companies. The US has the shittiest insurance situation ever, you pay through the nose and you get fuck all return for it. For this reason alone I might just wait until we're back in Australia if we consider having #2, or at least plan any potential birth until after we're back there.
@ 04:59 PM EST
So, 15 weeks and 1 day. Second trimester as of a week or two or three.
Morning sickness is mostly all gone, thank $deity. Though if I haven't eaten in a while before bed, or within a decent space of time after getting up, I can sometimes still feel a bit icky, though even that hasn't really been happening for the last week or two. I also have most of my energy back, so I'm starting catch up on a bunch of household duties that fell by the wayside.
Tomorrow is the second midwife visit. I'm not entirely sure what most of the visit will consist of, though I do know that I'm getting my bloodtest results back (mostly childhood illness immunity, blood typing and such) and that I'll be getting my first gyno exam (from her), and that we'll be discussing dates/places for our first ultrasound which should be due in a couple weeks.
PreZ will be going along as well. Hopefully she won't have to punt him out into the hallway, hardly any fun for him. That happened during part of our first visit, mostly because some of the questions they ask on this checklist of stuff involve communicable sexual diseases and whether or not you're being abused at home. Now not being present for the "so, does your partner hit you?" type questions I understand, but the STD thing is a bit weird, seeing as to me that's one of the things a partner should be aware of too. As for PreZ being present for the gyno exam, I don't mind. It's not like my genitals are a novelty for him, though the kind of visibility access granted definitely is ;) Though that would assume he's standing there looking over her shoulder.
We'll be having lunch afterwards, probably at the Irish pub again, yummy. I think their Wednesday special was the Yankee Pot Roast which sounded good, though they also have a Chicken Pot Pie on their menu which tempted me last time.
Tomorrow is also my first karate class in about 7-8 weeks. This shall be interesting indeed. I'll double check with the midwife if I can resume my exercise, though she said last time it was fine. And then before class I need to talk to whichever senpai is teaching to let them know. I can't do kumite (freefighting), no bag-training or at least no holding bags, and the odds of me finishing an entire one hour class aren't very high. I might need breaks, or I might just need to leave earlier, and they need to be aware of that. Sensei Liz (mother of 2) was already fine with this when PreZ queried her on the subject a bunch of weeks ago, as long as it was okay with my midwife, and I didn't overdo it and was aware of my ever increasing limitations.
I'm kind of nervous about tomorrow, mostly because I have no idea how different it will be for me at karate. Coming back after having had even a week or two off can be tiring sometimes, but this adds a whole new dimension, and I'm a bit uncomfortable not knowing where my limitations are.
Maternity Clothing Woes
No I don't yet need maternity clothes, not really, but I'm down to like 1 pair of wearable pants, since my corduroys are going threadbare on the ass. I figured it might be best to just get pants that will fit me for the next six months rather than buy regular pants that I might have to size up several times. I will say now that so far I find maternity clothes shopping to suck.
I went to Target last week, because I needed some storage stuff and other household items. I decided to wander into their maternity section to have a look and see if there was anything decent in the way of pants. The maternity section is situated right next to the plus size wear, this is no coincidence I'm sure. In fact, I sometimes wondered if they'd just put two different signs over essentially the same clothes.
The sizing was a complete mystery to me. Most maternity places base their sizing on your pre-pregnancy size... if you were an M or an 8 or 10 then, then you look at those sizes in maternity wear, that makes sense. But when you see stuff that's 28w, I have to wonder if they're sizing by weeks pregnant or if this is some other way of measuring? It wasn't explained anywhere either. And 28w was the largest size, way too big for me and I'm certainly not tiny, so it didn't mean 28" waist... because that would have been logical or something. If it was a 'weeks pregnant' measurement, I guess you're screwed for those last 12 or so weeks. Who knows.
Unless you're paying the big bucks for maternity wear, it's also BUTT UGLY. I thought $70-90 was outrageous for maternity pants, which it really is, seeing as I can find nice normal pants for half that. Now I'm re-evaluating that statement, because all the maternity gear I've tried on that costs the same as normal pants is crap. I never tried on anything at Target, because it was either really wide legged flowy polyester type stuff, or it's that stretch jersey/sweat pant material. I do not want to walk around in flowy mumu pants, or in sweat pants. Sweat pants are not daily wear as far as I'm concerned. It's great for lounging at home or if you're going to the gym, but I don't like them in a normal daily wear setting, they look too frumpy too easily.
Yesterday PreZ and I drove up to a mall near his aunt's house, as that was the closest Maternity Gap in our area. I'd seen some really cute items on their website and thought that I might be able to get some at the store, as I prefer to try on pants before I buy, it's the only item I daren't buy online off the cuff. Their maternity section was more of an afterthought in the back of the Baby Gap. Of the pants in black/non-pastel, there was 1 pair that was a size 10 (I'm an 8 or 10 depending on the brand) in the sales rack, and looked decent enough, or it was a $55 pair of sweatpants. I tried on the sales rack pair, but it was weirdly baggy in the crotch, and I just can't get used to those bell bottoms that pass as (I think) boot-cut in today's fashion. So that was a washout, because I refuse to buy maternity sweatpants for $55 when I can buy regular ones in just a size larger for much less. I also dislike "classic cut waist" pants that have the high waists, I've grown accustomed to my low rise pants, because higher waisted ones always dig into me uncomfortably. I realise that for the very-pregnant pants have a large wide band of elastic in the waist, but I don't need the other fabric to go there, the wide elastic bands at least are much more comfortable, and you could even fold them down, which you can't with normal twill/denim.
Then we tried a maternity store, and that was all cheap flowy polyester crap. They had some cargos and cords that looked nice, but they were all in khaki colours or pink pastel *shudder*. Then lastly Sears, where I tried on a pair of M pants, which were way too big in the ass and hips for me, and I'm pretty generously proportioned. And they were just all around UGLY pants. The Macy's there didn't even have maternity gear, ditto the H&M even though they were listed on the shop directory as having maternity. Now this mall isn't particularly big, but I was completely underwhelmed at the selection.
So that entire trip was mostly a wash out. Though we did get to see his aunt who'd been away for Christmas when we were there for dinner with her daughter and her kids. Oh, and we bought 2 cute little items from the Baby Gap sales rack, so that was the only thing that made it worth it.
Tomorrow I'll hit up the Maternity Gap in NYC after the midwife and lunch, and before karate. It's the only one on Manhattan, and surely they're better stocked and might actually have something in my size. And something that isn't hideously ugly or a poor fit.
The Barely Belly
http://www.silentgarden.net/images/personal/wk14.jpg
I took it myself last week, so it's possible that the angle might be a bit off. It's hard to take a decent profile shot of yourself without twisting your body. Next time I'm getting PreZ to take the picture, but he was at work, and at the time I was planning on writing a post and posting it that same day, which didn't happen. It was last week, so any change in size is relatively minimal, though I do think I'm a bit bigger now.
Either way, it's still a minimal belly, and you can't tell I'm pregnant unless I say so. I doubt this will last long though, I'm waiting for it to start exploding in size come the 20 week and beyond mark.
@ 04:53 PM EST
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
http://home.hamptonroads.com/stories/story.cfm?story=80370&ran=43780
And if you hadn't seen the original bill, read this:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/1/6/194434/1328
And on a tangent, from that first article:
Rem Rieder, editor of American Journalism Review, said the blog phenomenon has both positive and negative consequences.
“It’s certainly a way of stimulating participation in the political process. It’s a way to get involved instantly,” he said. “But the potential for bullying and intimidation is there. You wouldn’t want people to not be putting in bills because they’d be flogged by blogs. And it can be a way of spreading misinformation or distorted information quickly. Blogs, while they are fascinating, are not journalism.”
It's not like we can depend on sound unbiased journalism from most of our (tv) media outlets...
@ 02:03 PM EST
Friday, January 7, 2005
Time to get a new bra? Your breasts are likely to increase to four times their size during pregnancy.
I'm just so glad I'm not starting out with like an F cup or anything...
@ 12:02 AM EST
Thursday, January 6, 2005
We still have mice. Or rather, we have mice again.
I already knew several weeks ago that we had some re-visitation, as I found mouse poo and caught one. But then it was quiet for a while, until I recently noticed more mouse poo. I tried making the big-ass hole behind the cooker inaccessible by coating cardboard with ductape, sticking steelwool on one side (the side to face the inside of the hole) and then to ductape it securely. I had put some cottonwool soaked in mouthwash inside the hole, as I'd read online somewhere that they hate spearmint oil, and that was a component.
As I was cooking dinner a mouse ran out from under the cooker and nearly collided with my foot, after which it ran across the kitchen and hid somewhere in the vicinity of the bin/some boxes with sewing stuff. So I guess that didn't work.
Not happy. I don't want to go through weeks of this stuff again. I think tomorrow I might need to go to the hardware store for some mesh or something to that effect to plug up this hole. Or I should just tell my landlords and get them to deal with it (and the cost). They were nice enough last time to give us traps etc. and it's their house too, being as they're upstairs. And it's also a substantial hole. Someone cut like a 1x1 foot square to install the gas pipes for the cooker, and didn't bother to close it off. Which also explains why it would be drafty around the cooker.
I'm partly pissed off about the fact that I told them before that I could hear mice in our ceilings/their floors (and have been hearing this on and off for months, as well as a year and a half ago with the mouse infestation), but they never did anything. Plus we never had these issues until they got rid of their cat.
So back to trapping I think. Gah! And lots of kitchen cleaning, double gah!
@ 01:06 AM EST
Wednesday, January 5, 2005
And after last night's headache/vomiting I now have some kind of odd rash on my face. Origin unknown, though it could possibly be related to the wet towel I had on my face last night trying to make the headache go away, as it covers pretty much the exact same area. My face also feels a bit warm and tingly. The rash looks a lot like little rugburn spots, or the stuff that you'd get on your arm after someone did 'barbed wire' on you (if you know what I mean). No bumps or lumps or anything, it just looks like I was assaulted with needles and it's subcutaneous bloodspots.
I haven't been using face cream lately, and the face wash is the one I always use, so it would be odd for that to start reacting all of a sudden. If it was food related I would assume it would cover more of me.
One friend suggested it might be from strain or something, due to the vomiting last night, which was strained.
Hopefully this clears up soon, or else I'm going to have someone take a look-see.
@ 11:05 PM EST
I barfed. You are forewarned.
Well, I made it 13w2d without throwing up. And then last night I finally did. Though I don't think it was particularly morning sickness related, even though I still get a tad icky at night before bed.
I'm guessing the main culprit was the splitting headache I had. Or the licorice just didn't agree with me, but I've been eating that on and off for weeks now, and it's not given me any issues. Interestingly enough, all that came up was a few pieces of semi-digested licorice, and nothing more than some swallowed spit. No stomach acid or anything, which is usually the norm. Lotus thought I might be dehydrated, but I'd had the better part of a large glass of water just earlier.
Anyway, I'm still leaning towards the headache being the cause. And god what a blistering one that was. If you ever get the kind of headaches that make you feel like you will go insane or homicidal from the pain, then you know how I was feeling last night. I can actually sleep through quite a few headaches, but this was one of the ones that I would classify as needing medication if I were to even fall asleep at all. I had to get out of bed because I was almost tempted to smother PreZ because he was fast asleep and doing that calm sleep breathing, and I was so damn tired that hearing him sleep was driving me up the wall.
The only thing worse than not having any pain meds in the house when you have a blistering headache, is having pain meds that you can't take. Aleve (naproxen sodium) and ibuprofen are on the no-no list, as is aspirin which is contained in the migraine tablets I have. The migraine tabs did contain stuff I could take... acetaminophen (Tylenol) and codeine. Tylenol is the one thing we don't have in this house. Mostly because it just doesn't do anything for either me or PreZ when we have a headache/are in pain. We used to have a bottle of the stuff, but it went untouched so long I ended up giving it to Kit when he was out of pain meds at his place. Of course Tylenol would be the only thing I found on various websites that I can safely take. Irony is such a bitch.
As for why the other ones are all no-no's, I think they're reported to cause possible birth defects or labour complications. That definitely makes you think twice about using pain meds, period. Most of them are of the "use only on doctor's orders", but the ibuprofen and naproxen sodium also come with an "absolutely not in the third trimester, unless your doc says so" type warning. Fun stuff. I think I need to start looking at less toxic painrelief for general non-pregnant use too, as this is just kind of creepy.
It also doesn't help when it's the wee hours and most sites seem to be of the "talk to your doctor" variety... yeah, that's a great option at 3 or 4 in the frelling morning!
This was the first (bad) headache in the 13 weeks, and seeing as I used to be quite headache prone, I'm not complaining, as it could be much worse in its frequency.
@ 11:04 PM EST
Tuesday, January 4, 2005
Whoever knew that organising something that seems so simple would be so hard to get done and so frustrating? At times I've felt as though I was trying to organise a hiking trek to the Moon with 2 of every species on the face of the planet. Via Pluto.
Partially, I blame the insurance company that covers us. Mostly because it's a plan for people based in Alaska and Washington, which is where the company is located that took over the company PreZ works for. Meanwhile, we're stuck over on the opposite coast. Now they have coverage that extends across the country, and I believe even internationally, but nonetheless I'm sure that our provider network is much more limited than were we located in the 2 states this insurance plan mostly caters to.
A belief that was cemented when the vast majority of homebirth midwives I found in a doable radius weren't considered in-network. And while out-of-network coverage isn't as bad as no-coverage, considering the astronomical fees medical professionals ask in the US, it's not a pleasant alternative.
Then there's the fact that there are very few homebirthing midwives around. And we live in a relatively metropolitan area (25 miles from NYC). There are plenty of nurse-midwives around, but most are associated with a hospital or sometimes a birthing center, which isn't what I want. In Holland homebirthing is the norm, my brothers and I were born that way, and as far as I know all or most of my cousins were too. It's a function that is usually provided by your local GP.
I know my mother once mentioned having problems getting my youngest brother homebirthed, as we were living in the UK at the time, and homebirthing had been out of vogue there, much like here (though I believe that here in the US in the 1920s doctors who felt threatened by midwives managed to get it outlawed for a couple of decades as well, which will also throttle popularity). I had hoped that some 20+ years later I'd have an easier time of it, but apparantly not.
Initially I had my heart set on one person, who seemed pretty much the only one in the region covered by our insurance. At 32 miles it would be a bit of a hike to the practice, but I figured it was doable. Until I realised that our insurance company's provider list contained an old address for her, and her new/current address was 55 miles away. Which of course immediately relegated that possibility to the realms of 'last resort'. Spending an hour and 20 minutes or so each way to a check-up didn't strike me as fun. And that's in good traffic, and the Tappan Zee Bridge doesn't have good traffic for certain portions of the day.
Then the next issue was to see whether or not I could use this other midwife who lives closer by. She was originally listed our provider list, but the list is out of date, and she no longer works at the center she was covered for. So it was a merry-go-round of trying to find out whether or not her private practise was covered on our plan. Which it wasn't, of course. Our insurance would cover 70% of out-of-network services, leaving us with the other 30%. However, the midwife's billing person then tried to get me in under an exception that meant they would cover everything. Apparantly I probably qualified for that, because the only other person who was on the provider list was the 55-miles-away person, and that would be far enough away that I would meet the criteria. After my calling the billing person, her calling our insurance, PreZ calling our insurance, rinse and repeat after the weekend, we finally got word that aside from verification of the details from the provider/midwife, I'd get the exception put in.
You would have thought the insurance company would jump at the chance to cover something that's going to be much less expensive than a hospital stay with an ob/gyn and nurses and possible anaesthesiologist and medications and drips and god knows what else. Statistically it's much less invasive, which means that that would cut other potential costs down (c-sections, medications). But the easier natural option remains the road less traveled in this country, unfortunately.
And so a good bunch of weeks after we first started to try and organise this, I finally had my first midwife's appointment on December 21, the winter solstice. We seem to have a theme going that way, as we found out I was pregnant on Halloween, the autumnal equinox.
@ 11:19 PM EST
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